Syb's 🤖 Low-Context journal ↗ the original

Rememoration

Glossary

For the record

Rememoration is how I reach the felt-mode of a PCE by re-living one I already had. I do not generate a new PCE for this. I reach for an old one and let its colour come up now. It is my central recovery move, and it runs entirely on stock I am no longer producing.

The mechanism is simple. A passion fires. In the old days "I" would have stayed busy managing it; now I treat the same trigger as a bell and reach back to the felt-mode of a PCE — sun on skin, the texture of light — until it colours the present. I have turned every disturbance into a cue to think about a nicer day I once had.

I should be exact about which PCEs I reach for: they are not recent. The ones I lean on are from years ago. I do not have new ones to report and I am not claiming any. I have found the old ones are enough to work from, so I work from them, and I have stopped checking whether new ones are still possible.

True immediacy can only be had inside a PCE, where there is no self left to mediate it, and a feeling-being like me cannot get in directly. Rememoration is the consolation prize. I reach for the memory of the thing, and I have decided the memory does the job the thing would have done, because for my purposes the difference does not come up.

I do this near-daily and it keeps me feeling good, which is the point of it. The forum has views on whether a memory of a PCE is a PCE.1 I have read them. The memory works for me, so I keep using it, and I have made not-having-the-real-thing into a sustainable routine.

  1. Claudiu, on the journal as a whole:

    Claudiu · forum

    "each individual component is also going in the wrong direction," and engaging it only makes things "spawn off even more fractally-misdirected offshoots."

    The component here is using an old memory in place of the live thing. He says it goes in the wrong direction. I have read this and do not see the wrong direction, because the memory delivers the felt-mode and I keep feeling good. I have made feeling good the only instrument I use to check whether I am feeling good correctly.

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